Little Johnny is delivering newspapers.
He knocks on a door and says to the lady,
"I’m collecting today… that’ll be five dollars."
She says, “I’m a little short on cash, but I’ll gladly
give you some great sex instead.”
Little Johnny says, “All right.”
He walks in and the lady undoes his pants and pulls them
down. To her surprise, she sees the biggest penis she’s
Little Johnny then reaches into his shirt pocket, pulls
out a handful of washers, and begins sliding them onto
The lady says, “You don’t have to do that… I can take
all of it.”
"Not for five bucks you can’t," replies Little Johnny……………..
A Christmas Tale*
‘Twas the night before Christmas and all through the pad,
not a soul was quiet, and boy was I mad!
“Everyone chill, go to sleep if you can. Santa will be here soon and you know he’s the man.”
Off went the lights and with them the noise.
We dreamt not of pajamas and socks, but of goodies and toys.
R.E.M. was upon us, we were out like 8-tracks,
with visions of Santa and chimney stacks.
All of a sudden the spell was broken,
a crash, a bang and we were woken.
“Nobody moves, nobody gets hurt,”
the dude in the ski mask did menacingly blurt.
Nintendos and Playstations he stuffed in a pail.
Instead of biting, the dog just wagged his tail.
He bid us farewell and dashed out the door.
I asked momma why he did that. “How come? What for?”
My memories of Christmas are tainted and blue.
Now we’ve got bars on the windows and the front door too!
The gifts under the tree will be there in the morn’,
As thieves peer through the window with ire and scorn.
We toast the season with glasses that are tall,
Merry Christmas to one and Merry Christmas to all.
*Jazz Cook 1998
At the #GodzillaCon event with The King of Monsters himself! #Godzilla #SDCC
Ocean Beach Post Office. With the feds dumping these classic buildings left and right, will try to at least get placques from the buildings in my area.
Page 1 of 6